5 Ways I Attempt a Business & Parenthood Balance
Being a parent is wild.
Being a small business owner AND a parent is a self-imposed endurance test that will never end.
You have two babies, now (if you're a first time parent).
A human one that needs you to survive and a livelihood one that needs you to survive.
And only 24 hours in a day.
What the actual fuck have I done?
I am still testing schedules and Must-Dos versus Maybe-Dos but I have discovered a few things that help me grow as a parent and as a business owner.
Setting Mommy Hours VS Work Hours
I made a decision when I was pregnant that my kid would FOREVER know that they were more important than work. While that looks a teeny bit different now that they are actually here...asking me for things nonstop...I definitely close up shop on nights and weekends so that I can be really present for my family.
On the client side, I now had a REALLY concrete reason to set work-hour boundaries that I felt bad about imposing before. Even if I still read emails after hours or on weekends, I DO NOT respond to them until Monday morning. Clients do not get to take away from Mommy time.
Creating Time To Focus Using Vacation Email Responders ... Even When I'm Working
No shame - I will throw up a vacation responder response for those big projects that are time consuming and need all my attention. It could be a Tuesday afternoon from 12pm to 5pm. If I need to blast music and get a huge cup of coffee to be able to focus on something that literally will take those 5 hours and I don't have time to get sidetracked, I will schedule an away message so that I don't have to worry that someone is waiting for me to respond quickly.
Speaking of responding instantly ... that was something I took pride in when I first started my business but once I moved abroad and the time difference became an issue, responding instantly took a dive. THEN I got pregnant and I could not even look at a computer screen some days. Yes, I indeed put up an auto responder email for those days - "I am feeling VERY pregnant and nauseated this morning. I will respond to you email as soon as I can."
I have found clients are perfectly willing to let you have that time for yourself, you just have to let them know where you are and when you'll be back.
Kids in the Office
As much as I try to keep work and mommy time separate, my kiddo does get to see me in my office every once in a while, like when she is home from daycare because she's sick but Mommy still has to work, or on Ecuadorian holidays when she's home from daycare...but Mommy still has to work.
I always make it a point to be welcoming when she does make her way into my office. I take a pause from what I'm focusing on to let her know that my office isn't off-limits (at least when I'm in it). She has made an appearance during many Zoom meetings...luckily my clients are in favor of that. I would honestly have to reconsider clients who got angry about a kid popping into a zoom call...
When it comes down to it I make art most of my days. For kids, art is FUN! (or should be), so I need to strike that balance that making art IS work, but it's also a fun place to be. Whether I'm making art or doing all the marketing/admin stuff, I want my kiddo to know she is welcome to join me, but we are just now beginning to set some boundaries when she is there since she's a 3 year with opinions and questions and tall enough to reach A LOT of my stuff - like being quiet and not touching all the jars of meticulously mixed paints.
A Free Hour Between
Work and Daycare Pick Up
It took a LONG time to get to the point where I could stop working an hour before daycare pick up. It also took an almost instant rediscovering of my love of reading that convinced me to stop working at 4:30 so that I could have a solid hour break between working and mommying.
Having this free hour was not at all conceivable when I had mostly hourly clients. You know I had to work every hour imaginable during the week to get all the $$$. Once I had converted all my hourly clients into flat rate clients, knowing some time would be busier than others, and that predictable income was better for everyone involved, I was able to carve out time just for me during the day when I wasn't arting or mommying - just being.
Oh Yeah I'm Still Married. Where Does That Fit Now?
Therapy. Therapy is how we fit each other back into existence after having a kiddo.
After 2 and a half years of being professionals in our industries AND becoming parents - we know we needed some assistance when it came to communication. We also needed help finding romance again. Having an infant in the house can make for very few and far between chances to even act like we were interested in each other in THAT way.
We are also adults who both need a lot of alone time because interacting with other humans, even our spouses, really drains us - it's one of things we recognized and appreciated about each other when we first met. So how do I fit in time for work, kid, husband and hobbies? How does he find time for work, parenting, gaming and me?
We came up with a combination of
no-dinner nights (just quick snacks) so that we can all spend time together as a family instead of me cooking and him and the kiddo getting quality time without me
Hiring help for weekly cleaning and food prep, to take that responsibility off of us both (very affordable and common in Ecuador)
Thursday movie nights
Going-out date nights
Staying-in-bed date nights and
Checking in with each other daily about our respective work related projects that we get really excited about.
Things may change once the kiddo gets older but for right now, we've hit a really sweet spot of scheduling and help in order to have the energy for work, kid and each other.