5 Challenges I Faced As A Pregnant Freelancer
Motherhood is wild.
For the next 2 months, the lists of 5 will center on being a creative AND a parent.
Let's start at the beginning: 5 Challenges I Faced As A Pregnant Freelancer
Got Ghosted: Freelancer Edition
WOW the amount of people that stop emailing you once you announce your pregnancy was/is staggering.
I should preface point this with 2 things, knowing that my situation had a few more road blocks than solely getting pregnant:
I was living abroad when I got pregnant, after building a 9 year career/reputation in Philadelphia. I moved to Quito in 2017, so I had 2 good years of increasing clientele and income for those 2 years.
Most of my clients were Philadelphia contacts that I knew personally before moving abroad - therefore my entire client base KNEW I was pregnant because they saw me announce it on my private social media.
In 2019, after announcing I was pregnant, I had about a 15% decrease in the number of clients, which resulted in 30% drop of income. When you have a baby on the way, THIS IS SCARY!
I realize that this drop in numbers had a lot to do with my hustle getting totally screwed up (more on that in #3) but the complete disappearance and ghosting of people who had reached out to me about custom illustrations or design projects BEFORE the pregnancy announcement was dumbfounding.
And I'm not blaming them for not reaching back out - maybe they knew what's it's like for a pregnant person - the physical and emotional exhaustion - I don't want to put words in their mouths or assume their motivations, I just know that year was super hard on myself and my husband when it came having enough money to buy ALL THE BABY THINGS.
For those financial reasons alone, I would be wary of announcing any other kind of life-changing event on social media - if your business depends on it.
Maybe people already know this? I knew to keep the pregnancy a secret until we hit the 2nd trimester (that still didn't save us from heartbreak, though - more on that in #4).
Income (And Therefore My Shame) Dried Up
I touched on this in #1 - but seriously, I made exactly $20,000 less the year I was pregnant. That would scare the shit out of any business owner.
Luckily, I got back up to pre-pregnant revenue the year after Olivia was born but SHIT if I didn't have to work double-hard to get all that revenue back and show people "See, look, I can handle it ALL, email me about your damn design needs!" WHILE raising a kid AND grieving.
Gone were the "This project doesn't really align with my goals as an artist" days. I took any and everything I could get. This is draining and set me back on my business goals.
But what else can you do? You want your kid to have everything they need and I wanted to start saving for her college education as soon as she took a breath.
The Disappearing Hustle / Attention Span
The nausea.
The cravings.
The puking (I had morning sickness in both the 1st and 3rd trimesters).
The brain fog.
The aching back.
The itchy stretching skin.
The being kicked from the inside.
The not giving a f**K anymore.
The midday naps BUT the never getting comfortable enough to ever really take a nap...OR you know, SLEEP. AT ALL.
The weekly doctor appointments.
The weekly drawing of blood.
The weekly sonograms and "you're gaining too much weight" and preclampsia scares and sugar level tests.
The never-really-knowing-what's-exactly-going-on-because-everyone's-speaking-in-Spanish and your husband has to translate everything.
None of that is conducive to seeking out clients or filling out Requests for Proposals or designing weekly email campaigns...
So yes, the drop of income was also my fault.
Working Through a Broken Heart
I was pregnant with twins.
At 17 weeks, we learned Elisa had stopped growing and passed on.
But Olivia was still growing. Olivia still needed me to treat my body with the absolute best care I could - even when I wanted to punish myself for letting one of my children die.
Nobody should have to worry about income when these are the thoughts that consume your mind. But I did. I don't know how. I am trying to give myself the respect I deserve for living and working and becoming a mom through that grief but it is all still a work in progress.
Working FOR My Sanity
Speaking of taking care of myself after Elisa passed - some of me did bury myself in work even when I wasn't physically feeling good enough, emotionally I needed all the distraction I could get.
Throughout my entire life, I wanted to feel ALL the emotions. If I was pissed, let me be pissed. Leave me alone in my rage. If I was happy, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. People would get SICK of how happy I was because I'd never stop talking about it.
Losing my daughter was the first time in my 36 years that I didn't want to feel what I felt. So despite the complete and utter physical exhaustion, I needed and wanted to work, for the money, and for my sanity. I was willing to do anything to get my mind off babies, especially since sleep evaded me for almost the entirety of my pregnancy.